Brock Rocks

April 8, 2011


Filed under: Uncategorized — Vanessa @ 12:23 pm

I still don’t feel ready to re-live what happened yesteryday, but feel like I need to get it out of the way so I can give you updates on where we are now.

Wednesday night Brock was a little lethargic and bre.athing faster than normal.  When we woke up Thursday morning we knew that his breathing was still too fast and that if it went on for much longer his body would get too tired out.  Around 8:30 I headed for the ER (about 30 minutes away) and Jay took Jaycie to work with him.  When I got about 200 yards from the parking garage Brock stopped breathing completely.  I pulled around to the emergency room entrance and ran him inside.  When we got there he wasn’t breathing and he had no heartbeat.  After about 2 minutes of chest compressions they were able to feel a faint pulse but lost it again 10-ish minutes later.  They did chest compressions 3 different times and I can’t count how many times I heard them say he had no pulse.  He got lots of fluids, epi, bicarb, and calcium while we were in the ER.  They also put in a fem line and an art line.  After an hour?  an hour and a half? (I really have no concept of time during this) they felt like his heart wasn’t going to stop again anytime soon and he was stable enough to move to the PICU.

So what happened?  Why was he fine at gymnastics on Tuesday morning and blue and limp in my arms on Thursday morning?

The theory is that the fungal infection became resistant to the anti-fungal drug he was on and started to spread.  (They did an ultrasound that showed his liver, kidneys, and sleen are covered in fungal lesions.)  As the fungal infection got worse his blood got very acidotic, which caused him to breath really fast to blow off extra c02, and all of the energy it took to breath so fast for so long caused him to go into cardiac arrest.

So yeah, the fungal infection is back.  And probably worse than before.

The plan is to put him back on the iv antifungal he was on from Nov 2009 – 2010.  We’re also stopping all chemo indefinitely.  There’s just no way to fight of the fungal infection without a healthy immune system and there’s no way to have a healthy immune system while you’re on chemo.  Unfortunately Brock still has 2 years worth of chemo he’s supposed to get.  You see the problem.

I’ve been writing this in bits and pieces over several hours and I feel too scattered to adequately wrap this up and I know there are other things I’m leaving out. 

Be back later….


  1. oh Jesus, be near. what a nightmare, van. and i know you hear this a lot but chad and i are praying for all four of you and baby hart. (so i guess that’s all FIVE of you.) please let me know if i can do anything at all. praying His presence and peace are HEAVY around all of you.

    Comment by mrs. darling — April 8, 2011 @ 12:29 pm

  2. Praying for you all as always. Brock is absolute fighter.

    Comment by Matt Clifford — April 8, 2011 @ 12:33 pm

  3. Vanessa – As I’m reading your email update K-Love is playing in the background “God of this City” – You’re God of this city, you’re the King of these people, you’re the Lord of this nation, you are…

    You’re the Light in this darkness, you’re the Hope to the hopeless, you’re the Peace to the restless, you are…

    For there is none like our God, there is none like You, God!

    Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city!
    Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done here.

    You’re the Lord of creation, The creator of all things you’re the King above all kings, you are…

    You’re the Strength in the weakness, You are Love to the broken, You’re the Joy in the sadness, you are…

    He IS our provider, our healer, our strength and He holds you and Brock in the palm of His hand. Praying, Praying, Praying! Our Love, John & Brenda Bracklein

    Comment by Brenda Bracklein — April 8, 2011 @ 12:42 pm

  4. I know the images will haunt you, but you knew something wasn’t right and were right there at the hospital..gods way of leading you. Prayers!

    Comment by britta — April 8, 2011 @ 12:54 pm

  5. one battle at a time, one day at a time, Brock has proven what a fighter he is. We are still with you still going….

    Comment by Lee — April 8, 2011 @ 12:56 pm

  6. I am so sorry this is happening to you all. We are here if you need anything and are praying very hard for Brock and your family. We love you all!!!!!

    Comment by Mitzi — April 8, 2011 @ 12:59 pm

  7. Thank you for updating us all during this extremely hard time. I can’t understand what you are going through, but I am so sorry that you are having to go through it. I think you are holding up so well I am praying that God will give you a peace about all the decisions you have to make. There are really no words that I can think of to type that can take away the hurt…May God continue to send you peace, strength, and comfort that you will need in this journey. This quote stuck in mind when you posted it… “Statistics don’t mean anything when you have a powerful and awesome God.” Sending Lots of Love!

    Comment by Jennifer Sims — April 8, 2011 @ 1:29 pm

  8. My prayers are with you!

    Comment by Erin Axton — April 8, 2011 @ 1:30 pm

  9. We are praying for you guys.

    Comment by Jenny — April 8, 2011 @ 1:52 pm

  10. Jesus IS always near, dear Brock. We continue to pray for him and you guys! Strength!

    Comment by Clarke Danner — April 8, 2011 @ 2:03 pm

  11. In tears, thinking that you were by yourself when this happened (among other things). Thanks for the update- hope you’re able to get some of those images out of your head. Hang in there- all our hopes and love from Texas.

    Comment by soonerhawkeye — April 8, 2011 @ 2:51 pm

  12. I sit here crying as my heart breaks for all of you. I ask that our Heavenly Father wrap his arms around all of you and comfort you as only he can do. That he gives wisdom to the nurses, doctors, technicians and every one else who is involved in the treatment of your beautiful little boy. That he put a hedge of protection around all of you, with his angels and warriors shining bright to fight off the enemy. That he keeps your unborn child all snuggled and nestled in your womb, unaffected by the ordeal you are going through.

    Comment by Valerie Olmstead — April 8, 2011 @ 4:38 pm

  13. Im a friend of a friend who posted your link. Prayers for your family…comfort and wisdom to you all.

    Comment by Connie Casey — April 8, 2011 @ 4:47 pm

  14. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family for what you are going thru, my family and I have already walked in your shoes so I really know what you are feeling, just remember when things get to over whelming GOD says leave it with him I kept going back to the foot prints in the sand and JESUS him self telling me my child I have not forsaken you.

    thoughts and Prayers with you always
    Becky Prince

    Comment by Rebecca Prince — April 8, 2011 @ 5:01 pm

  15. Just as I would say ” he can’t quite walk or talk but he’s got an army of warriors and God Almighty And white blood cells on his side” we’re behind you one hundred percent with all you need.
    We ❤ you!!!!! Maddie & Katie

    Comment by Maddie — April 8, 2011 @ 5:58 pm

  16. I just learned of your site through COLE’S Foundation and have included you in my thoughts and prayers. What a blessing that you were already at the hospital and were able to get him into the ER quickly. I lift up your prayer requests asking Him to please bless you with His healing, strength, rest, peace, and love. I pray his white blood cells will build up so he can fight this fungal infection and the cancer will remain stable while he off the chemo. May He bless and keep you in the palm of His hand.

    COLE’S Prayer Team

    Comment by Janet — April 8, 2011 @ 7:27 pm

  17. Vanessa,

    I am SOOOO sorry!!! What a HORRIBLE day!!!! I pray the new meds work SOON and Brock will improve quickly!!!

    ♥♥ Love ya!! ♥♥
    C.O.L.E.’s Foundation
    (Caring Openly, Loving Eternally)

    Comment by Sandy Daron — April 8, 2011 @ 7:37 pm

  18. I’ve been keeping up with your sweet son through life rearranged, and just wanted you to know that i am praying for your whole family, but especially healing for your little man.

    Comment by Mari — April 8, 2011 @ 7:46 pm

  19. Many people from my church praying for Brock, God will handle this and we continue to pray for healing and strength for all of you.

    Comment by lmorris — April 8, 2011 @ 8:04 pm

  20. Prayers for peace and rest for you and your family!

    Comment by teachinmom — April 8, 2011 @ 8:57 pm

  21. I can feel the pain and frustration in your note…the not knowing what to do…where to turn,so many ups and downs…it is hard to know what to feel.

    We are all here praying for strength and courage for you and also for Brock. Where there really are no words to make things better…know there are many around you who truely care…

    Comment by Vickie — April 8, 2011 @ 9:35 pm

  22. Thanks for the update, Vanessa! I know they are so hard to write. I’m so sorry for this long hard journey that you guys are so. Praying for all of you and trusting that God’s plans are perfect, even when they really don’t seem to be. Much love and many prayers!

    Comment by Susie — April 8, 2011 @ 9:37 pm

  23. Praying. For healing, for strength, for wisdom, and for an absolute certainty that God is in control.

    Comment by Rachel — April 8, 2011 @ 11:23 pm

  24. Vanessa, don’t know you or your family but I shall be praying. May the Lord give you the answer you need to hear in this situation and may you in time understand and learn more about Brock’s needs this incident. Know that you are not alone in this world and their are parents wanting to help in whatever way possible. Lord, just touch Vanessa and Brock, as well as the entire family. Lord, give the doctors and nurses not only the knowledge to care for Your child, but Jehovah Rapha give them compassion and a heart of understanding to provide answers and to show care for this family in their time of need.

    Comment by Joyce Weatherford — April 9, 2011 @ 2:02 am

  25. Thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless.

    C.O.L.E.’s Prayer Team


    Comment by Kelly Bollinger — April 9, 2011 @ 7:59 am

  26. Prayers for your precious baby, your family and care givers.

    Comment by Willie Ann Thomas — April 9, 2011 @ 9:46 am

  27. My heart just broke into pieces when my daughter told me about Brock. I cannot even begin to imagine what you saw, even thro I work in a hospital, but this is your child and as a mother myself I can only imagine. Please know that all of you have a special place in my heart and always my prayers! Please give Brock a big hug and a kiss on his forehead for me, I know you don’t know me personally, but I know a hug and a kiss always makes a child feel better.

    Comment by Deborah Smith — April 9, 2011 @ 6:27 pm

  28. Vanessa, Jay, and Jacie,my heart is aching for you and you all have been in my prayers and thoughts since Thursday morning when I heard all that has happened. Brock has become so precious to me since he started in Jesus Jewels with me and Kelly B. and we love him so much. i know God is watching over him! If you need ANYTHING let me know. We are here for you and if you need any help with Jacie she is welcome at our house any time. I am sure Matt would love it!

    Comment by Deborah Falls — April 9, 2011 @ 8:46 pm

  29. My heart reaches out to you and my prayers go up for Brocks healing and restoration to full health! Hugs!

    Comment by Sharon H — June 4, 2011 @ 7:48 am

  30. […] is lethargic and disoriented and shaking and it scares the crap out of you and reminds of you of this time last year and so you rush off to the […]

    Pingback by Starting over « Brock Rocks — April 1, 2012 @ 11:23 pm

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